Why I Became an Asian Dating Coach

When I first started trying to improve my dating life, I felt lost. 

The few pieces of advice I could find were scattered, impractical, or completely unrelatable. 

Most of the coaches out there didn’t look like me, think like me, or grow up with the same struggles. 

I wasn’t trying to become a nightclub player or flex on Instagram. I just wanted a dating life that actually worked for someone like me as an introverted Asian guy with decent ambition and no roadmap.

Years later, I’ve helped dozens of men transform their results without gimmicks, fake confidence, or going overseas. Here’s exactly why I started Based Dating and how I’m doing things differently from everyone else in the space.

Before I ever became a coach, I had to face something most people don’t understand. Dating as an Asian guy in the West is its own unique challenge.

We grow up in cultures that prioritize obedience, modesty, and academic success, not self-confidence or romantic initiative. And it shows in points like these:

• Raised with little exposure to intimacy or affection

• Socially behind from years of prioritizing school over socialization

• No role models in Western media to show Asian men winning in dating

• Racial bias and algorithmic ranking against Asian men on dating apps

• Often physically untrained, with awkward fashion and low self-expression

On top of that, we’re told to be respectful and “just be nice”, but attraction doesn’t work logically. Women don’t swipe based on GPA or politeness. They swipe based on how you make them feel and how you present.

So when you show up average as an Asian guy, it hits harder than it would for someone else. But when you show up calibrated and dialed in, being Asian becomes a unique advantage.

I didn’t want to cold approach 50 women a weekend. 

I wasn’t going to join a bootcamp in Colombia or pay for fake “social proof” by buying club tables. That stuff wasn’t built for someone like me, and honestly, most guys I help feel the same way.

Instead, I committed to mastering dating apps.

I studied responses like game tape.

Tested photos like ad creatives.

Refined my texting like I was split-testing sales copy.

Why? Because online dating is where most people meet now. And if I could build a system that worked for me as an introverted, analytical guy, then it could work for anyone.

The more I improved, the more I looked around at the Asian dating space and realized how broken it is.

• Some coaches run outdated PUA bootcamps where introverted guys are pushed into awkward interactions with zero follow-up

• Others live overseas and sell expensive programs to men in the West from behind their phone without ever offering hands-on help

• Some charge thousands just to send you AI-generated profile photos or pawn you off to a photographer they’ve never met

• Many of them are still single, still flexing short-term results, and still pushing the same recycled advice from 2015

That’s not what I wanted, and that’s not what I offer.